I'm Not That Girl
by Lyra Lovett
Summary: A one-shot songfic set on the night of "God that's good". Mrs Lovett wonders if she could ever replace Lucy. Featuring "I'm not that girl" from the Stephen Schwartz musical Wicked. Implied one-sided Sweenett.


This is set on the night of "God that's good". This is the song "I'm not that girl" from the Stephen Schwartz musical Wicked.

_Italics_ are the parts where she is singing.

Dedicated to all the Helena fans on Helena-world and the best actress ever, Helena Bonham Carter.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song from Wicked, nor do I own any of the characters from Sweeney Todd.**

* * *

Nellie Lovett wiped down the countertop. It had been a busy day and she was working well into the night to make sure that all the tables were scrubbed thoroughly. It was a tiresome job, so she had let her thoughts wander. She remembered the first time she met Benjamin Barker.

_Hands touch, Eyes meet_

She remembered how he had introduced himself with a handshake, how their eyes had met for the first time.

_Sudden silence, Sudden Heat_

Mesmerized by those eyes, she had stared, feeling herself blushing.

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

She could feel her heart thundering against her chest and suddenly, he was the only thing that she focused on, everything else becoming a blur.

_He could be that boy_

Then, from behind him, came a woman in a yellow dress, carrying a little baby in her arms. He smiled even more as he put an arm around the woman. "Meet Lucy and Johanna."

_But I'm not that girl_

She shook her head sadly, dropping the cloth onto the table. Pushing open the back door, she walked into the outside seating area of her pie shop. She sat on a bench, her head resting upon the table and letting the fresh air clear her mind. When she looked up to the night sky, a shooting star arced across, a beautiful line across the starry sky. However, she turned away, holding her head in her hands.

_Don't dream, Too far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

She looked up to his all-too-familiar barbershop. The one she had rented to him all those years ago. The same one he slept in at that very moment.

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl_

Mrs Lovett stood, walking to the stairs that led upstairs to his barbershop. She hesitated for a brief moment, afraid of disturbing him. But she thought the better of it and ascended the stairs slowly, one hand gripping the railing for support, the other holding up her skirt.

_Every so often, We long to steal_

_To the land of what-might-have-been_

She imagined herself with Toby and him staying in a little cottage by the sea. However, just then, an audible creak came from the wood beneath her foot and she found herself already on the top step.

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in_

The door did not even creak when she pushed it open slowly, careful not to disturb the bell that hung on the other side. As she closed the door gently, she looked upon his peaceful face as he slept. No doubt, he was having a dream about Lucy.

_Blithe smile, Lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, She wins him_

Walking over to the small trunk that was under the window he constantly spent time pacing at, she picked up the golden frame that held the photograph of Benjamin and Lucy. _It has bloodstains on it._ She realized, as she traced the figure of Lucy.

_Gold hair with a gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

_And heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl_

At that very moment, she earnestly wished that she were the woman in the place of Lucy in that photograph. But she knew, that that would never come true. Her eyes were brimmed with tears as she replaced the frame back on top of the trunk. She took a couple of steps backwards, only to trip over a honing stone that was on the floor behind her. Twisting herself awkwardly in mid air, she landed in the barber's chair instead, facing the sleeping figure of Sweeney on his bed.

_Don't wish, Don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so_

Nellie Lovett looked at her distorted reflection in the cracked mirror beside his bed as a single glistening tear slid down her cheek.

_I'm not that girl_


End file.
